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A Soldiers Story...

At the ripe old age of 16 I ran away and joined the UK forces (Army), probably inspired by movies and youthful idealism. Perhaps one day I could help ‘Save the World’? Quickly I was introduced to a world that very few would know...

I thought I was a man, ready to take on the World through gritted teeth, but I was going to learn and like most fresh faced recruits I would learn the hard way. My first 12 months passed slowly and with all the usual training and incidents that reshape who you are and make you part of something bigger and somehow more complete. That year had an almost a dream like quality and it had seemed to take a life time... yet I was still only 17.

So, December 1984 rolled along and I was posted to Germany... Now my military life was to begin... for real, the last 12 months had been nothing in comparison to what I was going to discover in the next 10 years, the adrenaline, the fear, the laughs, the loss and the pain.

Time went on and years went by... I had the beatings... (Adjustments) the beastings... (Attitude adjustments)... and promotion (Brain adjustments). This was all part and parcel of the environment that I had signed up too. Guess what... I loved every minute of it. Yeah it was hard work, but that’s something you do, it was the comradeship that I had never had before that made the difference. The constant 24/7, on or off duty family I now had (not that I never had a ‘real’ family – but as you probably know, it’s just different). We worked hard and yes, like all military personnel we played hard. We did things that you would never write home about... some we were proud of... others... well, best forgotten! (Sorry mum)... but most of all I was always proud of my achievements, and what I was doing for my country... that may sound a bit cheesy, but it’s just true!

The years went on... I drifted from one marriage to another... one operational tour to another... one country to another... I ended up back in the UK in 1992 and saw this as a good reason to make my exit, at that time I felt I had done enough, this took me another 2 years and I made every excuse not too and then I did it; I was out... the biggest mistake of my life. I left my comrades (family) behind and they left me. I didn’t get the break or release I had expected (hoped for). My struggle started immediately and the days just got longer, harder and seemingly more pointless. My moods and attitudes went up and down, destroying a few people’s dreams, amongst them my own. I did not know where to turn to, or whom. In fact, when the mood swings stopped I realised I was on my own, or at least isolated from everyone around me. I remember the first Xmas I was out; I spent the whole day on my own... slumped in a chair watching the same tired old stuff!

Today it is a different picture, I’m as my good old weapon, rough around the edges but effective and I pulled through! Between then and now was not without problems and I have never forgotten those 11 years and I guarantee I never will... I learned many things; some positive and some to its best avoid repeating, however the main thing that stuck in my mind and inspired the creation of the roninreunited.com website:

You will never find friends like comrades! Never!

I have never felt fulfilled like I used to when I was part of ‘something’. However, I am happy; I have a wonderful family... and never spend Xmas alone anymore. I guess I got a second chance, perhaps as a reward for the hard years of service that i loved so much, even when it was tough.

I do not live army or breathe it and eat it anymore! I still have the photo's I am proud to show to those I care about and for my son to look at. And I still dream about the boys and girls I served with... I guess if that is the only comfort I have... it is still there and hopefully always will be.

Yes, I still miss the life, the feelings, the fun, the boys & girls and knowing that someone was always watching my back!

I know I am not alone with these feelings... that is why we put together this web site:
To support those who deserve it, and to keep the comradeship going when we need it most of all...

With Ronin (roninreunited.com) "You Are Not Alone"